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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

True Letting Go

How could you face the person who killed your loved one? It is only natural to bare the teeth of pure hatred toward that individual, giving power to hunger for revenge and destruction. Yet, is it still possible to forgive?

How would you feel toward a loved one who decides to leave you? How do you feel being left behind? Can you calm that crying child inside, who feels so betrayed and abandoned? Of course, an emotionally mature person overcomes the pain -- after a while, to a certain degree -- and accepts that the other's passing as something painful but necessary. Perhaps not justified or fair, but nevertheless, it had to happen.

So, how about when the two people -- the one who kills and the one who leaves -- are in fact, one and the same person?

Dealing with the suicide of a someone close to you stirs up incredibly complex emotions, because it is impossible to separate the mourning over loss and the painful anger surfacing from the realization of being betrayed, violated and abandoned. Would you hate the selfish act of killing your loved one or mourn the departed?

The old wisdoms speak in simple terms about love:
  • love is acceptance 
  • love is letting go of the ego
  • the unconditional love is to love all.
 The answer lies within these three basic rules in relation toward other people, even with the ones who are so very close and intimate. Instead of expecting the other person to fit the mold of sometimes irrational criteria, the only way to accept is to quiet the wailing, needy child inside, respect the other as a whole being; loving every cell, every word, every movement.

Indeed, a difficult but possible task...