How could you face the person who killed your loved one? It is only natural to bare the teeth of pure hatred toward that individual, giving power to hunger for revenge and destruction. Yet, is it still possible to forgive?
How would you feel toward a loved one who decides to leave you? How do you feel about being left behind? Can you calm that crying child inside, who feels so betrayed and abandoned? Of course, an emotionally mature person overcomes the pain -- after a while, to a certain degree -- and accepts the other's passing as something painful but necessary. Perhaps not justified or fair, but it had to happen.
So, how about when the two people -- the one who kills and the one who leaves -- are, in fact, the same person?
Dealing with the suicide of someone close to you stirs up incredibly complex emotions because it is impossible to separate the mourning over the loss and the painful anger surfacing from the realization of being betrayed, violated, and abandoned. Would you hate the selfish act of killing your loved one or mourn the departed?
The old pearls of wisdom speak in simple terms about love:
- love is acceptance
- love is letting go of the ego
- unconditional love is to love all.
The answer lies within these three basic rules concerning other people, even those who are very close and intimate. Instead of expecting the other person to fit the mold of sometimes irrational criteria, the only way to accept is to quiet the wailing, needy child inside and respect the other as a whole being, loving every cell, word, and movement.
Indeed, a challenging but possible task.
