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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Some Days...

Some days are like a paddle-out on a cold, foggy winter morning. It will be good on the other side of the breakers, but for the moment, all the focus is on the slightly congested, labored breathing and the long, struggling drags in the gray and chilly water. You would rather be somewhere else, somewhere warm and cozy, preferably in bed with your head buried deep under a pillow. Instead, you lie flat on the surfboard as the cold ocean splashes around you, plowing ahead with a maniacal stare at the next set of waves that will inevitably roll over you. 

The dives underwater are especially harsh, as the cold darkness grips the body and sticks her frozen fingers into the ears canals. Yeah, it will be good once passed those dirty rags of incoming, broken waves, but, boy, it sucks really bad at the moment!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

True Letting Go

How could you face the person who killed your loved one? It is only natural to bare the teeth of pure hatred toward that individual, giving power to hunger for revenge and destruction. Yet, is it still possible to forgive?


How would you feel toward a loved one who decides to leave you? How do you feel about being left behind? Can you calm that crying child inside, who feels so betrayed and abandoned? Of course, an emotionally mature person overcomes the pain -- after a while, to a certain degree -- and accepts the other's passing as something painful but necessary. Perhaps not justified or fair, but it had to happen.


So, how about when the two people -- the one who kills and the one who leaves -- are, in fact, the same person?


Dealing with the suicide of someone close to you stirs up incredibly complex emotions because it is impossible to separate the mourning over the loss and the painful anger surfacing from the realization of being betrayed, violated, and abandoned. Would you hate the selfish act of killing your loved one or mourn the departed?


The old pearls of wisdom speak in simple terms about love:

  • love is acceptance 
  • love is letting go of the ego
  • unconditional love is to love all.

 The answer lies within these three basic rules concerning other people, even those who are very close and intimate. Instead of expecting the other person to fit the mold of sometimes irrational criteria, the only way to accept is to quiet the wailing, needy child inside and respect the other as a whole being, loving every cell, word, and movement.


Indeed, a challenging but possible task.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Teach a Man to Fish


After Jesus had concluded his speaking tour on "How to be a Fisherman" by the Sea of Galilee, He left to perform other miracles and spread his heavenly message elsewhere. One enterprising young man who learned from Him saw a chance to monetize this newfound knowledge. Instead of becoming a simple fisherman like the other fellows, a seemingly better idea took shape in his head.


He purchased a small boat, fishing net, and other gear, put everything on a donkey cart, and set out to locate a lakeshore further away. After a few days of wondering, he finally found a great spot in a quiet cove with large, shady trees. He unloaded all the gear from the cart and fashioned a large sign with a piece of canvas, on which he painted the words, "LEARN TO FISH HERE."


Later that day, an older man came by on his donkey. He stopped at the unusual sight of a young man sitting under a large banner by the lake, next to a pile of strange objects. He read the sign, looked at the young man, and began to ask questions. He lamented how poor he was, had a large family to feed, and always wanted to learn a trade. The young man, jumping at the chance, told him very confidently that he was the Owner of this new school and he could teach him to become a fisherman in a matter of days.


"But how can I pay you," asked the old man, "I have no money at all."

"You can pay me with the fish you catch," answered the enterprising young man, who now called himself the Owner.

"Very well," said the man with a faint light of hope in his old eyes. "When can I start?"

"You may start right now!"


By pointing at each piece of gear, the Owner explained to the old man the use of the boat, oars, and nets. After this short lesson, he pointed to a spot in the lake. "Go out and start fishing," he said.


They dragged the boat into the water, and the old man climbed in and began flailing awkwardly with the oars. "Not like that, ... like this!" The Owner mimicked the proper way of using the paddles. After the initial difficulty with the boat, the old man eventually made it out far enough. He also struggled with the tangled-up net, but later, with a bit of effort, he cast it out. He worked very hard the entire day, but by the evening, his trials paid off. When he paddled back to shore at sunset, the boat was loaded with fish. As exhausted as he was from his first day as a fisherman, he felt real pride about the fruit of his labor.



The Owner took two-thirds of the catch, but the old man still had plenty to feed his family. He got on the back of his donkey with fish baskets, and as he cheerfully waved goodbye, he promised to return for more lessons the next day.


The Owner had several basketfuls of fish of his own, which he had to sell quickly. He put the catch on the cart and rode to a dusty, trading town an hour away by crossing two roads. As he left his Fisherman School by the lakeshore, he suddenly became very concerned about all the gear. He realized he needed a Manager to oversee and run the school.



After getting to town in the evening, the young man asked around a bit. First, he found a fishmonger where he could leave his catch, then headed straight to a popular tavern, hoping to find a Manager quickly.


In the tavern, after talking to many of the patrons (primarily tired and drunk travelers), he almost gave up hope when he finally became acquainted with a particularly energetic and eager man. He was a tall, wiry fellow who spoke incredibly fast. The Owner liked him right away. As they chatted about this-and-that, the Owner realized that this was an ideal person for his school. He told the wiry fellow about his business and finally proposed the man a job of managing it. The man thought about the offer for a minute, asked about the salary, then finally agreed to start the next day. The Owner told everything in great detail about the school and informed the Manager to expect an old man to return for more lessons in the morning.


The Manager arrived at the lakeshore by sunrise and took charge of the school. Being an energetic and eager man, he wanted to leave his mark and thought of a few changes right away. When the old man finally showed up, he introduced himself enthusiastically. As they walked toward the fishing gear, he prepared a brief speech about how he would take the old man's skills as a fisherman to a higher level.



As they reached the boat, the Manager suddenly produced a huge ax, and with a few mighty blows, he smashed the vessel to pieces. He then pulled out his knife. The frightened, old man began to back away from him. The Manager quickly grabbed the net and cut it in two. The old man looked at him with eyes of bewilderment.


"Are you out of your mind?!" His voice was shaking from the mixture of fear and welling-up anger. He thought this new person was crazy. In his mind's eye, he saw his family back home, who expected him to return with maybe even more fish than the night before. They already made plans of salting, drying, and selling his catch in the market. This was their chance to start a better life.


The tall, wiry man's voice brought him back to reality. "I smashed the boat, so you may learn to build one. Also, I cut the net in two, so you will learn to be more efficient. I can teach you to be a real fisherman," the Manager looked at the old man confidently. 


The old man regarded him with silent disgust for a minute. "The hell with you," he grumbled, shrugging his bony, old shoulders. "The only thing you taught me is to go fish somewhere else," he spoke resignedly. Getting slowly on the back of his donkey, the old man finally rode off.


When the Owner returned in the afternoon, he asked the Manager whether the old man had come back for more lessons. "Oh, he did," replied the Manager, "but did not want to learn the trade after all. Do not worry, though," he added reassuringly, "there are many other people who will want to learn. Many, other people..."

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Lies


Lies will separate people, whether or not they are known to the other person. Small lies create slight cracks, and big lies open chasms. Be it minor or considerable; lies shall add up and eventually distance people from one other that not even the bridge of truth-telling may span.


By the time two people look toward each other from a distance as wide as a large canyon – it is already too late. They are too far from each other to recognize the person they used to know so well. By then, they can't even hear the other's voice from that great distance.


Looking back into the past, they may realize in their present loneliness that there was a time when a simple gesture of reaching out for the hand of the other could have easily breached a small gap, … but such a chance has long passed.